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Dating in Germany

Do Germans Date?

As we take a close look at each of the different dating cultures across Europe and around the world, we come to the conclusion that the dating ritual is uniquely an American concept. While some societies share certain similarities of mainstream dating, each remains unique in its own special way. This article will aim to dig deep into both the significant and subtle differences between dating in Germany and dating in the United States.  

Perhaps the number one difference between dating in Europe with compared to the U.S. has to be the absence of rules and formalities: who pays, who makes the first move, first base, second base and so on. European culture has a more relaxed and ambiguous definition of what constitutes a date. In fact, European society in general appears to reject the notion of dating rules, protocols and etiquette.

For Germans, when two people decide to spend time together, it’s because there’s a mutual interest, but they don’t necessarily go out on “dates.” After all, the very idea of following rules and guidelines isn’t exactly romantic. The important thing to consider is this: if there’s a genuine physical and emotional connection between two people, it’ll surely endure past the difficulties of modern-day dating.  

Tips for Dating and Socializing with Germans

Several factors set the German social behaviors apart from the American. For example, Germans and Americans have a different idea of what it means to be “polite.” In America, politeness usually means saying thank you, please and you’re welcome, opening doors and smiling for no apparent reason. In Germany, being overly friendly can be seen as fake or dishonest. Germans don’t tell innocent lies to protect your feelings. Therefore, don’t ask a question unless you’re prepared for an honest and direct answer.

Similarly, chitchat and small talk aren’t social behaviors practiced by Germans, who value true respect over everything else. Respect is shown by being sincere, well-mannered and transparent. If you wish to engage in conversation, make sure to do so on a courteous and educated level, discussing topics such as current events, local culture, cuisine, politics, and so forth. View it as an enriching experience that’ll bring you closer to your date and add to your overall culture and personality.

Germans will never tell a lie, especially not to their partner. For a German, nothing could be more impolite than a lie. Don’t expect your German partner to say only nice things about you. And this may not be such a bad thing, sometimes a healthy dose of the honest truth is just what the doctor ordered.        

Gender Role Differences in Germany

In Germany, women aren’t afraid to make the first move. It’s not your typical American boy-meets-girl cliché where the boy has to romance the girl and sweep her off her feet. Dating in Germany is considered an experience that’s handled on equal terms. Both parties are concerned only with getting to know each other more, discovering if they’re compatible and hoping to find some form of chemistry along the way. Relationships are left to flourish organically, without the need for “the talk” about becoming exclusive.  

The equality between men and women in Germany is more prevalent than in the United States. House rent is generally split down the middle between men and women – both are viewed as strong and independent genders. Rarely will you find a man opening a door for a woman or offering a woman a seat on the train. This, however, does not transcribe to the eternal question of who pays for dinner. German men are mostly old-fashioned when it comes to this matter and would be insulted at the mere thought of letting a woman pay for a date.  

Directness is Key

Germans are considered hardworking, intelligent, meticulous and direct. They don’t like people who waste time beating around the bush and they especially don’t appreciate people who aren’t sincere about their intentions. A direct question will rarely offend a German, assuming, of course, it’s made in a respectful manner. You can expect to receive a straightforward reply as well. Why waste time protecting someone’s feelings, if they’re feelings are going to hurt sooner or later? If you want something, ask.

Searching for Love on the Web

Not everyone who uses an online dating service is looking for a romantic relationship. If you’re new to a country and have yet to meet new people, dating websites and applications can bring you into contact with hundreds of users with similar interests. For those that do use the Internet to search for their soulmates, take relief in the fact that there’s never been a better time than right now to join a dating site. Your chances of finding a partner online are better today than they ever were before. These days the best dating websites offer verifiable accounts, computerized matchmaking and advice articles for how to survive the modern dating scene.

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